wishing I could humbug

The first thing I'm going to do in this post is attempt a moment of honesty.

I think I used to hate Christmas.

I remember not liking it.

Really not liking it.

That wasn't the difficult part to be honest about.

It's easy for me to tell you I didn't like Christmas.  Bah fuckin humbug it sucked.  Leave me alone and go away, all this commercialism makes me sick even though I am not religious.  Blah blah.  Stop singing.  Stop cooking.  Stop smiling at me and for heaven's sake NO MORE CANDY CANES.

The hard thing for me to admit...  The truth I am trying to spill is that now...  oh man do I have to say it?

NowIreallylikeChristmas.

Okay, okay.  You can have the spaces.

Now I really like Christmas.

I don't really know what happened...  Well, maybe I do.  It was a combination of things.  There are a lot of factors that add up to me liking Christmas now and while I think being a mother and wife to a beautiful little family is a big part of it, that isn't where my new found love of Christmas started.  9 years ago I had an unexpectedly wonderful Christmas eve that changed the way I look at Christmas for good.

I wasn't volunteering, I didn't help anyone, I didn't do anything particularly kind for anyone.   I just spent a holiday with a good friend and though I didn't know it at the time, it was just what my heart needed to shove the humbug out.

But that, that's a story for another post.  This post is just to tell you well in advance that I am sorry for what may come from my fingers in the next 5 weeks as I prepare to celebrate the holidays with my families.  I promise I am still snarky as hell during the holidays but it is interspersed with a lot of love, joy, peppermint, hot coco, family happiness, drunken Wii golf, ginger bread houses, K home from school, Mr. Kaos home from work, my parents visiting, spending time with my brother and S eating great food, holiday music, laughing, loving and living and so much more.  It's good.  I love it.  I make presents and food and drink and get excited and then eventually overwhelmed but it's good.

And I will probably talk about it alot.

Because that's what I do.

So, yeah.   Fair warning, Cami is about to get a big rush of holiday cheer and I will blah blah blah and tell at least one holiday story a week before I crash and ask you all why on earth  I do it every year.

Are you ready for me to go into Holiday mode?  I'll give you tomorrow to prepare.  I promise, tomorrow not a word do you about it, but on Friday we'll start things off with a big bang with a Holiday lyric writing contest... for a song...  that Mr. Kaos wrote the music for... and the winning song will be recorded.  We'll send you a CD of it.  And there will be a prize.  A real one.

So now you know okay?