the mommification of CamiKaos

I don't think I've ever discussed here why I called this blog Mommified Me.

I think I might like to talk about that today if you all have time to sit a spell and listen.

You see this isn't a mommy blog.  I don't think it ever was a mommy blog, though it certainly is a blog that belongs to a mommy.  So I often wonder if the title is a little misleading to some.

Some who come here looking for another mommy blog to read.  Some who see a comment I left somewhere and pop on through to check out the tattooed chick only to see she writes a blog called Mommified Me and then gulp RUN AWAY RUN AWAY.

Truthfully when I started this blog I wasn't thinking of any of that.  I wasn't thinking of any of you.  I was thinking of me.

I started this blog off having told one friend, only one, that I started it.  Okay, that isn't true I told two friends... Mr. Kaos knew right away.  He was the one that spurred me on.

So I started the blog, for me.  So I could write.  So I could work thoughts out in my head and have a platform that didn't involve yet more scraps of paper with scribbled thoughts and dreams that would be lost in the hustle and bustle of everyday life.

But I didn't know what to call it and then a phrase that I had been using and toying with for years came to the forefront.

Mommified Me.

I have always struggled to be the truest me, the most honest version of myself, that I could be.  I don't want to be someone I'm not, I don't want to be some one's opinion of who I am.  I just want to be me.  Cami.  CamiKaos.

But Cami, well, Cami has been a great many things to a great many people.  I can't even start to list what and who I've been.  I wouldn't want to.

But one thing became unchanging.  Unflinching.

I'm K's mommy.  No matter where I am not matter what I am doing I am a mother.  Her mother.  There isn't a moment of my life where that doesn't come into play in one way or another and I wouldn't change that for the world.

So when I say Mommified Me I am not talking about a woman who is nothing but a mother I am talking about me and how who I am changed once and for all the moment I came to know I had a little person growing inside me.

My life choices all include her.  Hell my breakfast lunch and dinner choices include her.

My choices of what tattoos I want bear her in mind.

I consider her in everything and yet I still continue to be me.  To be who I am.

I'm still Cami, I'm just a Mommified version of her.

I like it.