the caulk master, the cock master, and the magical internet connection...
So instead of hemming and hawing about the Caulk Master of Kaos house I will tell you about the Cock Master. Back in the day when people used VCR's instead of DVD players and Mr. Kaos and I were only dating he gave himself the curious name of "Cock Master". Now it has obvious sexual connotations and I could say countless complimentary things about him in this particular arena but still to this day I am not quite sure where the name came from or why. He would sign notes with it, yell it loudly while I watched TV or cooked dinner, he even changed his name in my cell phone to Cock Master. Where did that come from? Yes yes, obviousness aside; Cock Master?
Well the Cock Master has become the master of many things in my life since the days of VCR's and pink futons (his pink futon not mine) not the least of which is all the technological mayhem that lives, nay, thrives, here in the house of Kaos. So yesterday when I returned home from dropping K off at school and sat down with my lap top eager to write a post about my evening of martini sipping family fun and my laptop flat out refused to connect to anything -Internet, what is this Internet of which you speak?- I called Mr. "Cock Master" Kaos at work and said "fix it please". After a lot of looking at lights both blinky and solid, pulling of plugs, pinging of addresses and talk talk talking we were able to determine that something was wrong. What? I have no clue. He was at work and I am not blinky light room savvy.
He called those people that provide us with our fix, you know, the Internet service providers, and they determined that they were still receiving packets (hooray I love packets, packets of what people?) but that I had NOTHING. NADA. ZIP. ZILCH. ZERO. They decided it was on our end. Mr. "Cock Master" Kaos decided it was our router, he said it was flaky. I thought that term was reserved for me and he never seems to want to replace me with a new Cami so I couldn't quite figure out how to feel about our sudden need to rip that poor little box out of it's cozy ceiling home and replace it with another that wouldn't be so free spirited. He was quite sure though, and who am I to stand in the way of progress (unless I am the flaky thing in question), especially since I had no Internet to make me smile with my rainbow of happy non VPness...So I went about my day as best I could with the shakes and nerve twitches from computer withdrawal, smashed and scraped and found too much caulk in the bathroom and then went to pick up K from her play date. It was sunny with just a threat of huge storms and we took a little jaunt around the neighborhood stopping for cookies and hot chocolate before hanging out with some friends in their yard. Just when it looked like the sky would split open and pour we headed inside to find???A magically working Internet connection!!!!! I think the flaky router heard us talking and decided to hop to and make good on it's routing duties. So progress was not made, my little blue router friend still has it's cozy ceiling home and I have all but erased any evidence that the Caulk Master visited our home. Though I'm keeping the Cock Master around just in case...
