persona non grata

My kitties are now persona non grata.  Seriously.  Officially.  The tests results are in and Mike is allergic to them.  So I had Mike's doctor draw up all the documents to declare them unwelcome.  Doctors can do that right?  I mean really, if a ship's captain can marry people I don't see why a doctor shouldn't be able to declare someone unwelcome.

It's sad but the kitties are out.  Gone.  Bye bye.  So long Ripper and Spike.

Did you believe any of that?  Because we are totally saying no to cats... Except not really because I am NOT getting rid of them.  Besides, Mike has had cats his entire life.   He LOVES cats.  Our cats especially (even though one of them scratches things up and the other one pees on things).  So even though our cats stop him from breathing, we're going to keep them.

Why?  How?  What?  Am I choosing my cats over my husband?  No.  The cats are officially kicked out of the bedroom.  Until now the only time we didn't allow the cats in our room was when we were getting it on.  We'd kick them out for a few hours, I'd get laid and bask in afterglow and then eventually we'd let them back in.

I swear they knew what was going on in there and it was creepy.  Now they're going to think we're doing it ALL THE TIME.

They're already upset about it (about the being locked out of the bedroom, not about Mike and I having sex).  When I got home from dropping K off at school this morning they swarmed around my feet.  They stared at me as I cleaned the kitchen.  They mewed at me as I looked out the window.  They followed me when I went downstairs to check on the laundry.

And when I sat down to work on my laptop at the table?  Forget about it.  Two cats trying to curl up on my lap at the same time..  If they could make themselves hypoallergenic I think they'd do it.

Also?  Mike is allergic to grass...  do you think I could convince the city of Portland to outlaw lawns?  Maybe?  I hear yard maintenance is much easier without it.