in a handbasket...

On Thursday while all of you were busy doing whatever it is you do I was standing on a chair pulling down the makeshift branches of the weeping willow my mother and I made for K's birthday party when I saw a familiar car pull up.    I stepped down from the chair to peer out the door and when I confirmed that it was indeed the car of Missburrows I opened the front door a smidgen and climbed back atop the chair to pull down the decorations.

I remarked to myself that she must have made good time on the way to our house because she was early... like 20 minutes early.  Woo hoo!!  20 minutes of extra fun!

But as the last of the branches (which were actually green plastic leis strung together to obscure the view through an archway) came down I realized that she was still sitting in her car.

across the street.

waiting.

quietly.

Apparently she didn't think 20 extra minutes of fun was a good idea...

I didn't really care what she thought though so I stood on my front step with my hands on my hips and scowled at her car until she looked up and saw me giving her the death glare I am so accomplished at giving.

And then...

then....  then she LAUGHED at me.

But at least she got out of her car right?  I mean... at least she wasn't that horrified by spending a little extra time at the casa de kaos....

Though from this point forward...  I can tell you nothing... or at least very little.

Why?

Because what happens in the house of Kaos apparently stays in the house of Kaos...

Why?

Because even though it's conceivable that I have some pretty good dirt on her... it's possible that she could maybe have some information on me that could completely kill my cred as a snarky gal who cares about nothing except her kid, man, tattoos, red lipstick and boots.

And tech toys.

Oh ... and booze.

I wouldn't want that to happen... I wouldn't want you to be disillusioned.  To have your idea of me ripped from you. I want you to be able to cling to whatever distorted image of me you may have.

But... I will tell you a little something else... she came bearing gifts.  One for me and one for K.

Each of these two gifts... blog worthy...  I will share mine with you all today. It ranks right up there with the Prayer Mat she sent Holly.

This post card is an advertisement for a church.  Specifically for that church's easter service... what a way to get followers...  it's like hell on paper.

Seriously... can you imagine being a skeleton resting there in your shallow grave and having a fricking easter lily growing out of your skull?  Not cool man... not cool...

But being the clever gal she is she knew that her recycling bin was not a good enough home for it... so she brought it to me where it can be safe and happy resting among my other skulls... and creepy stuff.

and really... I kind of like it.

That brings us to the present she brought for K...  I'm not going to tell you what it is.

I will tell you though that it's so cool that it will cause a series of 52 posts to be posted approximately once a week.  That's blog fodder for a year!  If K will let me borrow said gift in it's various pieces...

The rest of what went on?  I can't tell you.

But even if I did I don't think you'd believe a word of it.  Crazy shit can happen when bloggers get together... so crazy man...  I never even knew...