consumer whore cami goes to IKEA

Yesterday we decided to make the trip I've been putting off for quite a while.  Portland got an IKEA several months ago and in the midst of their opening circus I decided I would NOT be going there until I could be absolutely certain things had settled down.

I guess need of some STUFF overcame my dislike of crowds and huge stores and we made a go of it but first we had a birthday party to go to (you know the one I thought was on Saturday but it really turned out to be on Sunday?).

When that family fun (read loud crazy game room and bowling with comfy leather couches) was over we drove all the way back to the other side of the metro area right by the Portland Airport to go to IKEA.

Do you know what happens when we head towards the airport?

K asks if we can go to Disneyland.

"No K, we can't go to Disneyland"

"Oh" she said to me "Well do they have food and toys where we're going?"

I told her yes

She said that was very good because she was STARVING.

(we often neglect to feed our child, doesn't seem important)

It was starting to seem like we would never EVER get there (and not just because of the whining starving child in the back seat).  You see there were no signs leading us from the freeway to the store.  Only to the airport.  We could see the store.  I guess we could have left the car parked in the middle of the road there at the entrance to the airport and walked to the store...

That wouldn't have caused a problem for anyone really... we're just lazy.

Instead we had to go all the way up to the airport and back and then we missed the exit that we needed to take from that street because... you guessed it... no signs.

IKEA is supposed to be a big deal

I thought, you would think they could afford a sign or two to offer direction.

Or maybe they think they are too good for us...

No, surely not, I'm CamiKaos.  Maybe I should have told them we were coming.

Or you know.  Gotten directions on the internet.

Against all odds we somehow made it to the parking lot (on our second try).  I was impressed to see that the parking lot was not a crazy circus packed full at 3pm on a Sunday.  It may not be good news for the store but I love a store that isn't overcrowded with crazed shoppers and hungry children.

On the way into the store I grabbed a lovely and very clean shopping cart.  I should tell you that I base a lot of my opinion of a store on the shopping carts. If you have nasty old carts that are in ill repair and covered in dirt and child snot... or if the wheels are misaligned, you loose major consumer whore Cami points from the get go.

I headed into the store with darling Mr. Kaos by my side and K helping me to push the cart.  We had made it.  We had arrived.

Oh and look, a helpful greeter.

I hate helpful greeters...  This one was no exception.  She acted as though we had entered some sort of exclusive club and implied that we didn't NEED that cart yet.  She asked us if we knew about the kid land

"You're not taking my child and brainwashing her so you can turn her into some sort of IKEAN robot" I screamed.

Okay, I didn't I just smiled and nodded and looked disdainfully at her.  They're not taking my child and brainwashing her into some sort of IKEAN robot I thought to myself.

She took my cart when we indicated we were heading up to the cafe.  TOOK it.  She told me we wouldn't need our cart upstairs.

How did she know that?  What if I was planning to buy 600 precooked Swedish Meatballs with gravy and French Fries?   I would totally need a cart for that.

Plus there was stuff up there.  Stuff babies... everywhere.  Kids stuff.  Um.  Toys.  Furniture (that I totally could have put in a cart) and more stuff.


We headed straight into the cafeteria and got food.  Here's the thing though, it was a cafeteria.  In a store.

And the food was actually pretty good.  I had a lovely chicken Caesar, Mr. Kaos had a little shrimp toast thing and pasta and sauce and K had meatballs and French fries.  Luckily she is easily bribed and was willing to trade croûtons for French fries and she didn't eat all of her meatballs so I got some.  That's how I know the food was all good.  I ate it.

Then the shopping.  Still no cart as we were upstairs and that was poo pooed... though I have to say I saw a few people with carts.  I have to admit though that with a cart I wouldn't have had the kind of freedom to wander hither and yon and look to and fro and explore all the STUFF.

Okay fine, so as it turns out greeter bitch was right and I didn't NEED my cart upstairs.

After 16 hours upstairs and 5 more servings of meatballs and fries we made our way downstairs where I was reunited with my beeeuuuutiful shopping cart.  It probably wasn't the same cart but it seemed like it and that bodes well for them.  Consistently good shopping carts... awesome.

The shopping continued from there.  I won't tell you everything we bought, but I will tell you that Mr. Kaos and I each wound up pushing a cart and that K behaved very well and got a tiny little stuffed mouse as a reward (made of fabric not taxidermied you weirdo) and that I am currently sipping Cherry Coke from the worlds most perfect glass to drink Cherry Coke from.

We got almost everything we went looking for and a couple of things we TOTALLY needed but never knew we needed.

By the time we left (after using their excellent and simple self checkout) we had been in the store a total of 3 hours and sadly we hadn't yet discovered all of her mysteries.

But here's the problem babies;  I HATE shopping.  I hate it.  I don't like stores.  Browsing.  Shopping.  None of it.  I was ready willing and I thought able to hate IKEA...

But oh boy I really liked it.  I only have 1 questions:  Can I get extra gravy on my meatballs?