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Gone are the days of the smelly man sitting on a faded couch with one hand down his trousers and one on his remote control as he watches

or the jiggly breast laden beer ads that advertise on it.  Gone are the days of the serious thinker who sits on his futon watching intense and inspired programing on PBS.  Gone are the days of male dominated remote control use...

At least in my house.

You see if someone didn't know us very well and they were invited into our home... which never happens because we really don't like people... but say it did.  Say Mr. Kaos invited an old friend over who hadn't already been primed for our household activities by the 32 page disclaimer we hand out to all friends and potential friends of the Kaos family...

That person would think we didn't even own a TV.  There is no TV in our living room.  Not at all.  We don't have a family room on the main floor...  there is not a single screen in our dining room, kitchen or bathroom....  they would have to peer behind closed doors (which would get them smacked) or venture down to our dark basement before they learned the truth...

We love our television...  wait, let me rephrase that...

love our television.

Our primary TV lives on the wall in the bedroom that Mr. Kaos and I share.

It's my TV.

I think he got it for me for Valentines day 2 years ago.  Before you romance hounds get all down on Mr. Kaos for the tech purchase instead of pink puffy hearts or life sized bears or chocolate and diamonds I should tell you that...  I HATE THAT STUFF.... well... not the chocolate.  I love that... but I love my gorgeous flat panel tv even more.

Then for my birthday he got me a TiVo.

That man loves me...

But as I said, they're mine...  I'm a TV hog.  I remote hoarder.  The remote controls (for the TV, the DVD player and the TiVo) all live in a little silver box on my side of the bed.  They wait there until I want them.  Till I want to turn on my little box of info/ mind numbing.  They are...  MINE.

On occasion when he's sick or is feeling particularly downtrodden about the fact that his wife owns all the remotes I'll hand them over to Mr. Kaos.  It makes him feel slightly better for a few minutes until he realizes that he doesn't love the TV the way I do and that nothing at all is on that he likes to watch except the cranky people yelling about politics or technology... so it isn't long before the remotes are happily back into my soft warm hands.

Oh remotes... how I love you...

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This post was written in response to David's question on Weekend Wandering; Who REALLY rules the TV remote control in your house?

If you'd like to answer this in a post on your own blog just pop on by his place and let him know.