3 AM... a bedtime story

It was almost precisely 3 AM... give or take an hour for daylight savings time.

My birthday had just reached its official end... though there was certainly more celebration to come.

I wasn't celebrating though... no  no no.  I was laying in my big huge bed embracing slumber.  Sleeping soundly.  Dreaming the blissful dreams induced by 2 lovely dirty dry martinis, a 7 course meal and a slice of chocolate cake.

sigh...  food coma.

Anyway, there I was nestled in sheets and dreams.  K had decided her bed wasn't good enough for her and climbed into our bed about and hour before... but where was Mr. Kaos?  He was no where to be found, at least not in the bed.

If I had felt so inclined I could have looked around the room to see if he was there, but I was asleep so I felt not an inkling of need to know.  Still, if I had looked I would have found that he was not in the bedroom.  not in the hall.  not in the bathroom.  or the kitchen.  or the living room.

He was climbing the stairs from his basement studio where he had been editing the long form babble between Holly & I so that it would approach something vaguely like a podcast.

He's a good man...

So as I said if I had been awake to see 3 AM I may have seen him climbing the stairs, making his way through the kitchen, the dining room, through the tiny hall and into our room...

At this point I woke ever so lightly to note that the motion in the doorway to our room was in fact him and not... oh say... a bear.  I smiled to myself and began to drift away again on some fantastic dreamland adventure where all my very best blogger pals are having a costume party in the clouds when suddenly there was a


CRACK

I felt it.  I heard it.  I leapt out of bed and said

"What was that?!!!"

Mr. Kaos shook his head groggily... perhaps there had been some snoozing in the studio and not just hard work... but we'll punish him for that later...

It was silly of me to ask him though, I knew what the crack was...  it was not the earth opening up to swallow me whole and take me down to dance with the devil... darn it.

It was our bed.  Our big huge bed.

I grabbed a flashlight and dropped to my belly.  I flipped it on and peered under the bed directing it's beam of light at each foot of the bed in turn.  I couldn't see a thing.

or rather I couldn't make out a thing...  in my haste to check things out I forgot that I can't see anything at all without my glasses or contacts.  I fell into a fit of despaired giggles... I can laugh at myself... put on my glasses and looked under the bed to see?

A lot of dustbunnies...

a couple of socks

and  the  center foot of our bed broken clean off.

Damn it...

we didn't even break it the fun way.